Stannis facts

stannisism:

• Stannis is so savvy with a blade, that when he cuts the fingers off criminals, they thank him for it.
• Stannis doesn’t need a helmet in battle, his claim is THAT good.
• Dragons wish they were the Blood of the Stannis.
• Melisandre originally had two rubies around her throat. Stannis ripped one off and threw it. This is the red comet.
• Stannis is so manly that even his wife has facial hair.
• A wildling woman once told him “You know everything, Stannis Baratheon”.
• Stannis Baratheon once warged into a dragon, just to experience weakness.
• Stannis Baratheon once warged into Bloodraven.
• Stannis made all the Storm and Reach Lords declare for Renly, just to give him a challenge.
• Stannis once went camping in Valyria. This is known as the “Doom”.
• Stannis has been known to say “I am Darkstar, and I am of the Night” and actually instill fear in people with it.
• When Stannis started burning people, Targs started pretending they’d been doing it for years, just to be like Stannis.
• Stannis Baratheon once had a staring contest with Tywin Lannister. Stannis won.
• The Mother was the Maid, before she met Stannis Baratheon.
• Storm’s End was Storm’s Beginning before Stannis told it to stop.
• In the land of always winter the Others say, “Stannis is coming”’, and “May Stannis take you”
• Actual fact: there are two types of people in these books; those who are afraid of Stannis and those who ARE Stannis.
• Knowing the Westeros wide renown of Stannis Baratheon: Badass, everybody and their best friend’s cousin tries to make up “badass” nicknames to match his fame. Sword of the Morning, The Mountain that Rides, The Young Wolf, Darkstar, Mother of Dragons, the Demon of the Trident, you name it. But there is only one STANNIS BARATHEON.
• The reason it takes so long for George R.R. Martin to write a book is because he has to ask Stannis Baratheon for permission to mention his name.

Ciarán Hinds is Mance!